I Just Want Normal Friends ( Rough Draft)

This was literally just something I sat down and just wrote out. Full Rough Draft (its hard to read)

"You're an assassin!"

"We've been friends for literally two days. So why are you shocked?"

"I just thought I'd get a normal friend for once."

"What do you mean for once?"

"Every single time I make a new friend, they always turn out to be some . . . kind of, I don't know. Extraordinary person. It's exhausting."

"Okay, so let's stop and talk about your thing then."

"No, no, no, your not my first assassin friend. I know you're on a time crunch, so go do your thing."

"Okay, so we really need to have a talk! What do you mean, not your first assassin friend? How many have you had?"

"Like four, including you."

"FOUR! Where are you meeting friends! Are you an assassin?"

"No, I'm not. I'm just your regular dull girl who likes brunch and museums."

"I like brunch too. That doesn't make you dull. Primarily if you find an incredible place that makes good drinks. There is that place off of . . .stop stop, wait, you've had four assassin friends? What happened to them?"

"Okay, well, first there was Sam. Sam wasn't a great assassin, I guess. I saw him in the news. They say he fell off a building, killing himself. Funny guy.

Then there was Lauren. She was super sweet. She bought me my first friendship bracelet. Unfortunately, she missed her target and had to move.

After that was MJ. Met him at the mall. I'm unsure if he was an assassin or a target; he was always looking behind him and into the cabinets. Then, finally, he was hit by a car.

And now you make four!"

And that's it?"

Oh no, I had Victoria. She turned out to be a long-lost princess. Then Chris, a black market arms dealer expert. Johnny, International drug lord.

Diane was there behind many unexplained phenomena.

Joseph was second in line for the Russian mafia.

Lucifer turns out to actually be the devil."

"Stop, you were friends with the devil, Like holy bible fallen angel devil?"

Yes, and the fall of humanity wasn't his fault either. And he's trying to understand why people don't want to hear his part of the story. A lot of errors in Jupiter's Biography.

"I'm sorry, who?"

"Oh God, yeah turns out she actually has a name, and that Jesus dude stole like six other guys' stories."

How the fuck did you meet the devil?!

Church, he likes to listen to the stories of the bible and see how people interpret them. And eventually, he's gonna write his own book with the whole truth. He thinks it's weird that humans say they want both sides of a story to make a decision but then base their entire lives on a one-sided story about God. So he's very frustrated."

. . .

The devil, your friends with the devil?

Yeah.

And that's not strange to you?

No.

Okay, so what happens to your "friends"? Do they not talk to you anymore?

Oh no, we still talk; it's just they have other responsibilities that they don't always have the time to hang out. So sometimes I only get to see them once a year. Or sometimes not at all. All of them send me gifts for my birthday and holidays. I just missed them a lot, ya know.

I can't seem to just make friends with ordinary everyday people.

Well, where's your family?

I don't know. My mom left me in a store when I was six. It was my birthday, we went to get a cake. I ran up to the counter to pick the one I wanted, and when I turned around, my mom was gone. My dad left when I was three. I don't have any siblings.

Not done. this was literally just something I sat down and just wrote out.